In the eyes of many travelers, airplanes are a kind of necessary evil. They provide the only way to get from here to there in a reasonable amount of time, but there are so many things that make airplanes and flying such a hassle. It all starts before you get to the airport with all the traffic, continues once you’re inside and dealing with baggage fees and security, and only continues once you actually board the plane for your flight.
It’s this last step, perhaps, that can prove to be the most harrowing of the air travel experience. Why? Well, it has to do with all of those strangers that you’re packed into with inside an aluminum tube that flies 30,000 feet in the air…
If you ask us, there are just some people that shouldn’t be allowed to fly. In fact, if we were able to get rid of some or even all of the people below, we think that air travel wouldn’t be nearly as bad as everyone usually thinks it is. Who are the 15 people who shouldn’t allowed to fly? Let’s take a look.
1. The Litter Bug
This is the person that throws their trash on the ground, shoves it into net in the seat in front of him or her, and generally doesn’t care about cleanliness.
2. The Armrest Hog
If you’re going to use the armrest, make sure that your elbow says on the armrest. If that elbow is even vaguely in my personal space, we’re going to have issues!
3. Mr. or Mrs. Needs a Shower
When you’re going to be in close quarters with complete strangers for hours on end, at least have the decency to take a shower. Okay?
4. The Shoeless Flyer
There’s not a person alive that wants to see your feet, let alone smell them. Keep your shoes on!
5. Mr. or Mrs. Feet Everywhere
Feet aren’t meant to be planted on the ground, not shoved into the back of the seat in front of you or sticking out into the aisle.
6. The Fast-Food Eater
Bad smells are so annoying on airplanes! If you’ve gotta get your fast food fix, then eat your food before you board. We don’t want to smell Burger King for four hours!
7. No Shirt… That’s a Problem!
If taking your shoes off when you’re on an airplane is a big no-no, then taking off your shirt is the biggest no-no of all. Keep it on, dude!
8. The Diaper Disposer
We’re not going to say that you shouldn’t fly with your baby… But, if you do, then make sure you dispose of those diapers appropriately.
9. Mr. Plumber Butt
When you’ve got pants that are going to ride low, then wear a belt. It doesn’t matter if you have to take it off and put it back on again when you go through security. Crack kills!
10. The Recliner
Unless you’re on an eight-hour overnight flight, there’s no reason to recline your seat. Ever.
11. The PDA Couple
We get it! You’re so in love! You can’t wait to go on your trip! Save all the smooching and funny business for the hotel room once you arrive, all right?
12. The Window-Seat Whizzer
Here’s a pro tip for some of you out there: If you’ve got a tiny bladder and you’ll need to use the bathroom often, don’t take the window seat…
Everyone likes to have a cocktail or two while they’re flying, but if you’re hitting that attendant button to get your fifth can of Corona, it might be time to give it a rest.
14. The Chatter
There’s nothing wrong with a little small talk between strangers, but I’m sorry… I don’t want to talk to you the entire flight. I’ve got a book to read!
One sweet and glorious day, there will be kid sections aboard airplanes. Until that day… Oy… They’re just the worst!